What is sexsomnia

“Sexsomnia” is a type of parasomnia in which a person performs sexual acts while still asleep. Much like sleepwalking, the sexual act is not consciously controllable by the person who has the disorder. A sexsomniac is generally not aware of their actions, and commonly do no remember partaking or initiating sexual activities.

Sexual behavior in sleep (SBS)

Sleepsex, “sleep sex” or “sexsomnia” or “SBS” is sexual behavior that occurs during sleep. Some people seem to enjoy it and view it with a sense of humor. However, it can be disturbing, annoying, embarrassing and is a potentially serious problem for some couples and individuals.
“This week my fiance awoke me four times during the night. He put his hands down my panties and started stroking my vagina and my rectum. He groped my breasts. Both of these activities are things he normally would do during sex – the nature of the touching didn’t seem out of character. I assumed he was making overtures and pushed him away. An hour or so later, it would start again. The third time, when I pushed him away he asked, “Am I bugging you?” The fourth time it happened I got out of bed and went to the couch. I was furious. I felt violated and like a piece of property. He is an intimate sleeper always but this has never happened before. He swears he has absolutely no recall. We have had some trust issues in the past so this is particularly difficult for me to believe. I did a reality check with some friends and they think it’s sheer nonsense that he does not remember anything. However, when I went to your site I started to doubt their counsel and my own instincts. My fiance does have a history of sleepwalking and bedwetting as a child. He told me once that he made love to his first wife (20 years ago) and had no recall of the experience. He has also told me in the past that sometimes he wakes up and he is sleeping with his arm straight up in the air. I feel like I am going crazy. I was married to a compulsive liar and am terrified of making that mistake again. On the other hand, if he is telling the truth I feel horrid for falsely accusing him of lying. I am ready to end this relationship, which will be devastating for all of us. If you have any insight into this episode, I would very much appreciate it.”

Sexsomnia - Sex

“I noticed your site on the internet off of a link from MSN.COM. Me and my fiance are experiencing a problem with sleep sex. Most nights that she falls asleep for a few hours she starts moaning and soon is masturbating and acting out sexual acts in her sleep. She has spoke to her doctor and he doesn’t seem to think anything serious about it. She was put on an antipsychotic pill that only seemed to change the pattern for a couple weeks and then she went back to her usual sleep sex. She discontinued the pill at this point. If you can offer any suggestions or help it would be greatly appreciated.”
“Me and my wife have been having a very difficult time since our marriage began four years ago. At night I become a very aggressive person in bed only to awake to a horrified wife that knows all to well what I have on my mind. It is only when she awakes that I realize what is going on. I do have a very difficult time at night sleeping. I get up every night. She has been so patient with me until recently the unwanted sex has become more aggressive. Our marriage is on the brink of divorce because of this obsession. She brought in an article that explains sleep sex! I read this and to my surprise I am astonished at what I was reading. I am looking a mirror image of what is happening to me. Is this just a convenient excuse for men with a sex obsession? If there is more information about sleep sex I would really like to know. I am in desperate need of answers to the question of what is going on.”

“We are in a very awful dilemma. My husband has sleep sex. He had done this for years with his previous girlfriend. Anyway, his stepdaughter from the other woman claims that when she spent the night my husband was touching her inappropriately. When the police questioned him yesterday he had to admit to that problem that he has done all his life and he said he did not know if he had done anything to the girl. He hoped to god not. My husband is the greatest man and this thing doesn’t bother me when it is between us. We will be seeing an attorney. I know my husband and he would not do this. But he is scared if he did.”

As early as 1996, (Shapiro, Fedoroff and Trajanovic, 1996) SBS was identified as a medical condition that may place one at risk of being accused of sexual assault. Thus, if a person is aware of their SBS and takes it seriously, this knowledge may carry with it some accountability for not taking actions to prevent sexual misconduct.

SBS is listed in the most current (revised) edition of the International Classification of Sleep Disorders (ICSD-2), which is the diagnostic manual used by sleep medicine practitioners to make diagnoses. Although it is recognized as a sub-type of parasomnia, “sexsomnia” is not included as a particular type of sleep disorder with its own diagnosis.

SBS is mentioned in the ICSD-2 and recent medical research suggests sexual behavior in sleep is a distinct form of sleep-related behavior in the class “parasomnia” (Shapiro et al, 1996; 2003; Schenck & Mahowald, 2005). Over the past five years information in the popular realm has become available (e.g., articles have appeared in Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Details, Newsweek). A Web search will yield a number of information sources. However, the community of legal and health professionals and the lay public remain largely “in the dark” when it comes to SBS and its clinical and forensic implcations.

In fact, when one discovers their own SBS, usually after being informed about their behavior by a bed partner, they themselves are unlikely to believe that could behave in such a fashion. Often this is a source of conflict in couples as it is embarrassing to accept it as fact. Even when one reports another’s (that is, a person complains he/she has been fondled, etc., by a person who clearly appeared to be asleep), to a friend or health care provider in an attempt to try to get some support and to encourage their partner to treat his/her SBS, these persons cannot expect others to believe that they have experienced unwanted sexual contact initiated by a sleeping individual.

At present most people know that people walk, talk and eat in their sleep. That sexual behavior also occurs in sleep is not, at present, common knowledge. With increasing media and academic interest in this phenomenon, this will likely change.

Sexsomnia–a new parasomnia?

OBJECTIVE: To describe a distinct parasomnia involving sexual behaviour, which we have named sexsomnia. METHOD: We have used a case series as a basis for the description of sexsomina. RESULTS: Eleven patients with distinct behaviours of the sexual nature during sleep are described. The features in common with other nonrapid eye movement arousal parasomnias, such as sleepwalking are documented. Some patients had simply been referred to a tertiary sleep clinic for investigation of unrelated sleep problems. A small number had been involved in medicolegal issues. Sexsomnia has some distinct features that separate it from sleepwalking. The automatic arousal is more prominent, motor activities are relatively restricted and specific, and some form of dream mentation is often present. CONCLUSIONS: A significant number of patients with this unusual parasomnia behaviour were identified only after specific questions were asked, suggesting that the behaviour is more common than previously thought.